<3 Gizmo <3
& again the words have failed me, to describe a stunning soul that I had just begun to know. You had eyes that saw right through me, with other places to be and things to do. & try as I might to stroke your fur, to hold your paws, to lay next to you and imagine you still here... those may be your paws, this may be your fur.... but those eyes... those eyes... those eyes wont let me lie.
You were my PT girl, my short term guest with plans of her own. That misdiagnoses bought you and your sister first class tickets to my first and only foursome of rats, and while you were supposed to be my instant heartbreaker, it was dear Nibs whose body failed her before her time. Like you, she had a spirit that wouldn't quit, and gifted me with four wonderful months before the toll was too much for her to bear. She left you in her wake, lacking in other cagemates who understood your feisty ways. You would have done your sister proud the way you manhandled the boys. You were a rough and tumbler, but you were a kind spirit, and sadly the boys never quite understood you. I think they loved you in their own way, but you never had another like Nibs who truly "got" you.
I didn't fully appreciate your love affair with Nibs at the time, but looking back I can see it so clearly now. Games of "land shark" with the boys, them fighting desperately to keep even one shred of food for themselves, being chased frantically through the cage when they were caught, both of you girls squawking like unrecognizable monsters and nipping until said food was relinquished. Followed by undesired cuddle sessions where the unfortunate party laid squeaking, desperately trying in vain to communicate that you girls were grooming *way*too*hard*. & play session upon play session that looked more like tackle football than anything else. It was the good old days, with your partner in crime, and over all to quickly.
After that it was just you and the boys, and while the trio seemed to work, it wasn't the same bond that you shared with Nibs. The boys loved you, but they were a bit afraid of you as well, so one could never tell whether they would spend the day with you or tucked away in fear. The dynamic had shifted, but luckily it seemed to change each day, and there seemed to be a fair share of bonding to be had between you, Bug & Bosco. That bond seemed to continue through the loss of Bosco to the addition of Merlin, who was gladly accepted into the group as another "land shark" target and a big, loud squish who also seemed to have objections to your grooming. The loudest of the bunch, you could keep me up nights just trying to keep that boy clean.
& finally the cycle continued to Minca, a tiny female who would prove to be a very wrong match for your personality. I don't know if it was two alphas, or your progressing ear infection that Minca would not quit "sniffing out", or if Minca just didn't comprehend your "head tilty" ways, but intros were rough leading to a complete disaster. The sicker you got, the more Minca seemed to target you, and as much as I always thought karma would kick you and your bullying ways it was a heartbreaking time to see it happen. Tiny tiffs turned to squabbles, and squabbles to bloodshed, and soon you had respiratory issues to boot that would not let you endure any more of it. The threesome was broken, with Merle splitting his time between you both, and sadly you seemed to be pushing him away as well. Illness was breaking you down and slowly you were pushing everyone away except for, surprisingly, me.
& so it was in the last few months, you finally allowed me to get to know you. It was still on your own terms, but I'm thankful that I had that time with you before you left. I saw so much of Nibs in you then, so much curiosity, so much spirit. I saw eyes so bright and always in their own world, with something important to do, something to stash, something to explore. I shared nights next to you on the bed, and woke pleasantly to the feel of your nose sniffing mine, your body running over me, you burrowing inside the blankets you deemed your own. I shared meals with you, shared hard times with you, shared tiny ups with you before things got too rough. I shared a dreadfully hard night with you and Merle before I let you go, trying to keep you comfortable and trying to soak up the very last drop of you that I could, knowing from your eyes that you were already somewhere else, that you couldn't stay much longer. I shared more than I expected with you, so much more than the short term sentence I thought you had when you were placed into my care. & I hope that you, my dearest one, had a life you deemed worth living. I hope that it was worth it, that you spent your days finding your own happiness. & I hope that you have stories to share with the many companions who went before you, tales to light up their eyes with the same fire I've always seen in your own.
You were a wonderful soul, a true character indeed, and another sweet reminder to simply love life, to take it by the balls and run your body to the ground until you're done with it. You were a fierce, crazy, stunning girl, and I'm thankful that you let me be a part of your adventure. Breathe easy my sweet. I will forever remember you with your head tilty ways, but I'm so thankful that you are free of those troubles now. Be free with Nibs once again, and be sure to go a little easy on those boys, if you will. <3