<3 Pogo <3
"I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you"
I think I've been telling you goodbye for weeks now, and my heart is still not equipped for this.You were tough beyond my expectations, and I suppose I always thought that you would pull through anything. But this time was different, you lost that spark I always saw in your eyes, your body was breaking and your days becoming lonely. What we had come to... I never wanted this, and you had enjoyed too many good days for me to ask it of you.
When I first met you, we drove 3 hours to get you and you came to me with wretched breathing and a heart of gold, so quick to take a liking to Minca and Naked Bean. Intros went smoothly and a beautiful bond was formed.
You were an energetic trio, despite fighting off ongoing respiratory infections. Days were spent playing, favorite treats were enjoyed by all and naptime found everyone snuggled together.
Life went on happily for a long time, and then came on like a whirlwind and unrelenting. First we lost Minca to cancer, with you and Bean lovingly by her side until the end. You were absolute comfort to her, so kind and so gentle, and you made her final time with us something to simply be cherished. Then life threw more hurdles and hardships. Respiratory issues hit brutal and fast, until we finally found one winning combo that worked miracles for your days. Our house was filled with battles as we lost Mori, Grumpkin, Chunkin and Neko and fought for the lives of many more. In the midst of the chaos Templeton joined your family, but I'm saddened to say that I don't have a single photo of your final trio to remember it by. Etched in my mind are memories of the times you spent with Bean and Templeton, a boy you came to love quite dearly. He was another soul still not sure of humans, but he adored you and Bean and spent every day by your side. He was a young, spunky juvenile and he hoarded your food, but I'm sure you didn't mind.
And the days kept coming. You battled your way through one respiratory infection or another, though the medication eased them greatly. Finally age caught up with you though, and I realized that your mobility was not what it used to be. Very quickly your hind legs gave out on you, and we rearranged the bed and cage to help you get around.
And again, I wish I had pictures to remember, but I was too busy loving you during our last time and I forgot how much I would want those now. They are in my heart though, me being fortunate enough to know our time was short and getting to soak up every last drop of you. I thought your final phase would be a story of heartache, but there were so many good days and still you continued on. I said goodbye so many times, but instead we spent weeks together spoiling you with cookies, cake, pie, and every favorite goodie, always knowing it could be the last time. I relished waking every morning to watch you happily gobble up "yummies" (medicine), the frequent daily "juice" breaks where you eagerly lapped the fluids I syringed to you, and occassionally you nearly bringing me to tears when I'd find you higher up in the cage or on the bed, making treks I didn't think you were still capable of.
Up until the very end, your life was filled with so many more good days than I ever thought possible. And never being a "people rat", you gave me the finest gift of allowing me to care for you when you needed it most.
And so, when your body ultimately failed you, when the seizures began and you lost that light in your eyes, when confusion set in and my sweet boy had simply lost too much control of a life he clung so hard to, it was my turn to decide that this world had simply thrown too much at you. Your back legs had failed you, your body was giving in, you had lost your enthusiasm for treats and worse, the ones you loved and needed most had distanced themselves and no longer comforted you. I wanted so much for you, but I never wanted this.
Ultimately I teetered with the decision to try final medications for you, but a final seizure in my arms left me feeling like I had to let go. I hope it was the right call. I hope it was what you would have wanted for yourself. I hope you were truly done fighting.
My sweet, dear love of a man, I hope you had a wonderful life. You've left behind your own special hole to fill, left a spot for another needy soul and I hope they fill it half as well as you did. Give kisses to Minca when you see her and above all else... breathe easy, my sweet, sweet man, and run free. <3